This morning was my final radiation treatment for the rest of my life I hope! They told me that I would continue to "cook" for a week or so... so I should keep a close eye on my skin for additional burning. The Dr. gave me a prescription cream that is also used for severe burn victims, it seems to be helping more than just the neosporin did. My blisters are starting to heal and hopefully I won't develop any more. All in all I got through my 33 early morning rituals with no problems, if you know me you know I'm NOT a morning person, but I had to be for this so I could continue to work with as little interruption as possible. Now a few more Dr. visits for the final tests, scans, bloodwork etc. and I should be able to return to life as I knew it before March of this year.
I don't think I'll ever be totally the same as I was before as this experience has changed me profoundly, I will never be as casual about life, mine or anyone else's! At the same time I will never hold as tightly the things of life or even the people I love, they are a gift from God and ultimately they belong to Him, not me... I just praise Him for allowing me to have them in my life for a season, a beautiful season. Bill has been a rock through all of this and our love for each other has never been stronger or more fullfilling, so in a lot of ways cancer has blessed me.
On our flight to St. Louis we ran into very bad weather, I'm usually a real white knuckles flyer but I was very calm... in the midst of other passengers screaming and crying in fear and praying loudly for God to spare them. I was amazed at my own composure, I wanted to stand up and say "today was the final treatment for my cancer and the timing was such that I could just make it to my nieces wedding, God would not gotten me this far just to have me die in a plane crash, my family and friends have been praying for me for months, so we are definitely going to be OK!" I really was at total peace with a situation that even had the airline attendents clinging to their seats, when we landed the whole plane applauded and several people were crying. I don't mean to sound arogant about the fact that God would spare my life, I just felt very sure that I was in His hands no matter what and I know all the way down to my socks that God is in Control.
Whatever you do remember to count your blessings and focus on the good times of your life.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Thanks for that entry. I've always thought you were smart and intuitive and all that, but you said some really heavy stuff there. I'm glad to know you. And, on a lighter note, I'm really glad that you are on vacation, and hope that you and Bill have a lovely time with family, friends, and each other. And I hope you're feeling better, too!
Post a Comment