Crab Legs are Medicinal!

My experience after my third chemo has been similar to the first two. I do have to admit that I was a bit more tired for a few more days after the treatment, but nothing too extreme. I really had to be careful what I ate or I'd be stuck at home (near the bathroom) and that was not fun!

I'm ashamed to admit that I began to worry a few days ago about the possibility that I wouldn't be allowed to have my last chemo on schedule, which would totally mess up being able to attend my nephews wedding in Detroit on July 12th. So I remembered a hint that I picked up from a former chemo patient, she told me she was delayed one time from having her treatment and her private nurse took her home and "stuffed" her with crab legs and strawberries, she was able to have her chemo the next day!

Well, it was a big sacrifice on my part to "have" to eat crab legs and strawberries since they are only my third and fourth favorite foods (shrimp and chocolate being first and second, not sure in which order!) But, I forced myself to eat almost a pound of each on Saturday. I may even repeat this ritual on Monday for good measure.

All in all it's been a pretty good week with my energy rising each day to the point that I was able to keep up my hours at work and clean my house on Saturday before I had my medicinal feast!

Well, maybe it wasn't totally a lost weekend

My dear sweet husband informed me that during my "lost weekend" I knit a dog sweater for the class I'm going to teach at the library this fall, I read an entire novel, I hemmed 2 pairs of pants and fixed the tear in my Grandson's bathing suit, babysat my Grandson's all day Friday, which included a trip to the grocery store and MacDonalds (where I dropped my cell phone in the toilet!) We baked cookies and did 2 loads of laundry Friday afternoon, I cooked dinner on Friday night. I went to my digital scrapbooking class Saturday AM, went to church on Sunday and then insisted that we walk around Costco for about 45 minutes to get some exercise and then finally consented to take a nap. However, I didn't clean my house one bit! I guess that's why it seemed like I didn't do anything productive. I should have lots more energy this coming weekend, so maybe I can catch up (if Bill will let me.)

Lost Weekend

I’m coming up for air… after what felt like a “lost weekend” Lots of rest and recuperation time (enforced by Bill), he made sure I took care of and paced myself. Fatigue was my biggest obstacle, along with “tin can” dry mouth (a mouthwash called Biotene really helps), blurry vision and a few digestive problems I won’t elaborate on. I did get to do one fun thing Saturday morning before I hit the wall... I attended a digital scrapbooking training and learned a lot more about publishing storybooks. I'm still planning on doing a storybook about my journey with breast cancer, so watch out I may want to take your picture! I'm trying to get the courage to publish my picture without the wig.. I'm almost there. My Grandsons tell me they think my bald head is cute, they like to rub it! Aren't Grandkids wonderful!!

Today I feel great for various reasons, I got the determination from the insurance this morning that they are going to cover my medical bills related to my breast cancer. PRAISE GOD!!!

I’m ready to go back to work and I feel almost normal again. Only 1 more chemo treatment and I know I can do it! Then, 33 radiation treatments. The timing of everything is almost split second in order for me to attend 2 family weddings this summer, one in Detroit July 12^th and the other in St. Louis August 30^th I still haven’t gotten my airline tickets because it all depends on the last chemo happening exactly on July 1^st which will allow me to fly to Detroit before my radiation starts July 15^th so it will end August 28^th just in time to fly to St. Louis. I’m so glad that God is in control, his timing is perfect!

This is the Hug I read on Friday and it really helped me get through this last weekend, I hope it speaks to you too.

“The demands of daily life can drain us of our strength and rob us of the joy God intends for His children. When we find ourselves tired, discouraged, or worse, there is a source from which we can draw the power needed to recharge our spiritual batteries. That source is God.

God wants His children to lead joyous lives filled with spiritual abundance and peace. But sometimes those blessings can seem elusive. It is then that we must turn to God for renewal; and when we do, He will restore us.

God expects us to work hard, but He also intends for us to rest. When we fail to take the rest we need, we do a disservice to ourselves and those around us.

Is your spiritual battery running low? Is your energy on the wane? Are your emotions frayed? If so, turn to God and accept the rest and recharging only He can offer.”

Matthew 11:28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

3 down and 1 to Go!

I successfully made it through another round of chemo and re hydration process. I'm having much the same reaction as the first 2 times. Right now I feel pretty energized, in fact only slept about 3 hours last night and hasn't seemed to slow me down a bit. I had a full day today, worked this morning, went for my re hydration and white cell booster shot, ran over to the knit shop and stayed about an hour knitting with the girls. Other customers have asked to connect with me when they hear my story and are newly diagnosed... I knew God would use this experience to reach out to others and they are coming out of the woodwork. I feel like I should have business cards printed, Have cancer? Call Sue. I dropped off my prescriptions, went to the American Cancer Society meeting on Look Good, Feel Great, it was really fun and they gave me a beautiful kit of very nice makeup! They said go home and throw all your old stuff out, it's full of germs. I had just told Bill that I needed to clean out and organize my makeup. I probably have some that is 10 years old just hanging around in a box labeled extra make up. I should probably just pitch it without even looking in the box, I'm such a pack rat!! Picked up my prescriptions and was home by 9PM. Tomorrow I'll be working all day, starting early with a going away party for a co-worker who will be greatly missed. Pray I have the energy until tomorrow night and then I can collapse for the weekend. I'm usually good until Friday and then the fatigue hits me. I have the Grandkids all day Friday but I have some games and activities planned, we're going to do a magic show.... I got a couple of neat kid magic tricks books, it's nice that they are old enough to read themselves, and they can entertain me! We're also going to make ice cream and of course play cards and Yatzee. Saturday I have a digital scrapbooking workshop to attend in the morning and then I think I'll take a nap. As you can see I really don't have time to be sick.

Romans 13:13-14 We can't afford to waste a minute, must not squander these precious daylight hours in frivolity and indulgence, in sleeping around and dissipation, in bickering and grabbing everything in sight... Dress yourselves in Christ, and be up and about! (This is from "The Message" version of the Bible). Might want to look it up in another version.

Hug: First things first "These words are easy to speak but hard to put into practice. Why? Because so many people are expecting so many things from us! If you're having trouble prioritizing your day, perhaps you've been trying to organize your life according to your own plans, not God's. A better strategy is to take your daily obligations and place them in the hands of the One who created you. To do so, you must prioritize your day according to God's commandments, and you must seek His will and His wisdom in all matters. Then you can face the day with the assurance that the same God who created our universe out of nothingness will help you put first things first in your own life.

Have you ever forgotten to go to work???

It's been a pretty good week, other than the fact that I had a huge episode of chemo brain last Tuesday and forgot to go to go back to work after lunch! Then it took me 2 days to even realize that I'd done that, trust me that really scared me! I now have reminders about EVERYTHING plastered all over the place, in addition to all my pop up reminders on my computer. Bless my boss and co-workers for being so understanding.

Other than that I've been feeling well and have not been as fatigued the past several days. I find that when I'm really stressed the confusion gets much worse, so I'm trying really hard not to let myself get too wound up.

Several people who have walked this road have told me it's not the disease or even the treatment for the disease... it's all the insurance red tape! I'm finding that out first hand. Bill says "God gave us money and if he chooses to take it away He has a good reason or He plans to somehow replace whatever we may lose and that I"m worth all we own." Wish I could be as relaxed as he is about this, but I'm getting better just being around him and listening to his thoughts on all of this.

I know that I did not have a pre-existing condition and I'm trusting God to work it all out. But, as usual I want Him to do it NOW! Do you think there's a lesson in patience somewhere in all of this for me? AGAIN!! It would be so much easier if I'd learn these lessons the first time.

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, the God of my strength, in whom I will trust. 2 Samuel 22: 2-3

Here's your HUG... You know firsthand that life isn't always easy. But as a recipient of God's blessings, you also know that throughout your life you have been protected by a loving, heavenly Father. And He is still protecting you.

In times of trouble, God is neither distant nor disinterested. To the contrary, God is always present and always engaged in the events of your life. Reach out to Him, and build your future on the Rock, that cannot be shaken; trust in God and rely upon His promises. He can provide everything you really need.... and much, much more. All you need do is open your arms and your heart to Him. Then let Him do the rest.

As you can well imagine I needed this message much more than any of you!

Next chemo on Tuesday. I have lots of things that I want to do this week, so pray that I use good judgment about my limitations.

Insurance Woes

I just talked to our insurance company and because there was a lapse in time between our former insurance and this one, they are claiming I have a pre-existing condition. This could mean we would be responsible for thousands of dollars in medical bills. They are reviewing my health questionnaire to make a decision. Please pray!

2 down and 2 to go

It's Sunday evening and I made it through the weekend without too much problem, just very tired and of course the ever present chemo brain. It takes me about 4 times longer to do anything because I just can't seem to stay focused. Bill made sure that I took it easy and got lots of rest, I'm so sick of resting... I want to do something!! So I spent much of the time cleaning off my desk, that's where everything important lands... whatever it is I know that sooner or later I'll find it and take the necessary action (and it's all Bill would let me do.) Got all my medical stuff put into a binder in chronological order, yikes there were a lot of papers!! Got my Creative Memories order all checked in and paid the bills, so I guess I should feel accomplished.

Haven't felt much like eating this weekend, I have that weird taste in my mouth again. I've been trying to eat "good" things when I do eat. Anything from the cabbage family, beets and I just discovered Red Delicious Apples are supposed to be super for cancer patients. I did have to have some ice cream last night, probably not the best thing but it sounded so good... I was so tired I could barely stay awake and Bill was spoon feeding me ice cream! What a guy!!

The wig is really pretty, but not all that comfortable.. especially in the heat, I wear it as much as I can stand it and then off it goes. I guess I'll need to get the hang of tying scarves. I have 2 little chemo hats that I can wear around the house if my head gets cold.

I had my 3 Grandsons here on Friday and they also took very good care of me, they made sure I drank lots of Gatorade and they read me stories (the same ones I've read them for years). We did a few simple experiments, (that's their favorite thing to do), played cards (they always win) and Monopoly (I won!). The biggest thing on Friday was that I got the storybook that I've been putting together for my Grandson Dale done and uploaded to be published! It's about his many skateboarding adventures, I had over 300 pictures of his stunts. My Grandson Daniel helped me label the tricks appropriately and I added some trivia too. I'm so happy to have that done, it was a very important goal I had set for myself.

I took the "Ativan" at night and it really did help me sleep. All in all, I'm doing pretty good. Look forward to going to work tomorrow and getting back into a "normal" routine. I should be over the majority of the fatigue... until the next chemo on June 17th.

Today's HUG: Life is a team sport, and all of us need occasional pats on the back from our teammates.

Whether you realize it or not, many people with whom you come in contact every day are in desperate need of a hug or a smile or an encouraging word. The world can be a difficult place, and we all have friends and family members who may be troubled by the challenges of everyday life. Since we don't always know who needs our help, the best strategy is to try to encourage all the people who cross our path.

I don't know what I'd do without all the encouragement I've received from all of you!

Today, do yourself and your friends a favor, be a world-class source of encouragement to everyone you meet. Never has the need been greater.

Chemo, Re hydration and New Hair Report

I waited until this evening to write because so much happened the last 2 days and I wanted to report about all of it at once. Yesterday I had my second chemo treatment and it went really well, they said my blood cells were great. It seemed to take a little longer for the drip, but I was happily knitting and listening to my praise music, Ray Boltz, "The Concert of a Lifetime" my favorite song on this CD is "The Anchor Holds" and I'm here to testify that it does!!

Both my Dr. and her nurse, Sharon attribute my relatively smooth journey to my positive attitude, I keep telling them it's my faith in God. What a wonderful opportunity and gift it is to tell people about how good God is. My only problem last night was not being able to sleep, which is what happened after the first chemo for about 3 nights. The nurse told me to take an "Ativan" which was prescribed for nausea but also had a slight sedative effect, so I'll try that tonight. I asked her if it was OK to take it when I'm not nauseous and she said it's a very low dose so that would be fine. When I can't sleep God always puts prayer requests on my heart so the time is not wasted and last night I had such a feeling of urgency to pray for one of my co-workers at the library, her name is Kathy and she is in ICU with a very serious illness, if you can please add her to your prayer list. Today even with the lack of sleep I felt really good, I went to work this morning and I think I was even productive!! Worked till noon and then went for my rre hydrationand shot to keep up white cells built up. Everything went like clockwork.

I met this really dear lady who has not been as fortunate as I with her cancer and her chemo. She's in stage 4 colon cancer, they told her she'd probably had it for 10 years and only just recently had symptoms, (so go and have your colon checked!!!) she's had her surgery and started chemo, she did really well with the first drug they tried until the second round and it gave her an allergic reaction that put her into respiratory distress and she had to be hospitalized, now this week they tried another drug and she has been so sick and is so dehydrated that she has to be hospitalized again. I felt so bad for her, her name is Linda. I hope to see her again so I can try to encourage her. I feel so blessed that my journey has been guided and covered by the grace of God. Then the big event of the day, I lost all my hair in one fell swoop. I thought as prepared as I had been I might still have an emotional reaction, and I did.... I laughed! Hey, it beats crying and I really did look ridiculous. I really was OK with it and when I got my wig on and had it trimmed I felt like a million bucks! If you ever need a wig you must go to Vicki Roney in Henderson, she is fantastic!! I'm so happy with it that I had Bill snap my picture and it's attached. I even have my new library shirt on that also arrived today... life is good!! Yes, for all of you who have advised this, I promise to pace myself this weekend. But, I will be strutting my wig. Of course I have a HUG for you today, did you think I'd forget? "In light of God's many and wonderful promises, you have every reason to live courageously. He promises to protect you today and forever. God's Word promises that His love for you is never ending. Isaiah 41:10. But even as a person who trusts God's promises, on some days you may find your courage tested by various disappointments and fears. When you're worried about the challenges of today or the uncertainties of tomorrow, pause and ask yourself whether you're ready to surrender you concerns and place your life in God's all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving hands. If the answer to that question is yes, then you can draw courage today from the source of strength that never fails, your heavenly Father.

2nd Chemo tomorrow

It’s been a pretty good week, especially the last 3 days! I actually was able to clean house, cook and work on some of my hobbies. We also got our taxes completed… something that got put on the back burner when all this began 2 1/2 months ago! I had totally forgotten about it and Bill had not mentioned it to me because he figured I had enough to worry about, but he finally had to because I was the one who had done all the accounting for our personal stuff and he didn’t have a clue how to pull it all together. So, yesterday in a few rare moments of lucidity I was able to complete everything and get it sent off, the lucky part was that the last time I had worked on it I had it almost completed.

You don’t realize how important the everyday things of life are until you just can’t do them.

I only had minor irritations to deal with this week, nothing major. I had an unexplainable dizzy spell at work, but it passed without incident (except to scare my dear co-worker Kathy half to death). I am still having issues with not being able to focus well, and now that includes my eyes as well as my brain! It is somewhat frustrating to say the least. Overall I feel very blessed to have weathered this as well as I have so far. Tomorrow is my 2^nd chemo treatment… I’ll be half way done, YEAH!! The big challenge this week is I have to say goodbye to my hair…only for now as I have been assured it will grow back better than ever. I get my wig on Wednesday, Vicki Roney at Liaisons Salon is cutting and styling it for me and she is wonderful! Just think, no bad hair days for the next several months!

Please keep Bill in your prayers, people are starting to tell me that I look better than he does. He is an incredible caregiver and I know it is not easy for him to see me go through various stages of this journey, also his sister was rushed to the hospital yesterday with possible kidney failure.

My HUG for you: We live in a world that seems to invite panic. Everywhere we turn, we’re confronted with disturbing images that seem to cry out, “All is lost.” But with God, there’s always hope.

God enables us, indeed calls us, to live above anxiety. He created us to live by faith, not by fear. He instructs us to trust Him completely, this day and forever. But sometimes trusting God feels difficult, especially when we get caught up in the incessant demands and worries of an anxious world.

When you feel anxious – turn your thoughts to God and remember His love. Take your concerns to Him in prayer and, to the best of your ability, leave them there. God is capable of handling any problem you turn over to Him, and He has promised to comfort and help you, if you’ll just trust Him.